Elmo or Kermit the Frog?

Would you rather be Kermit the Frog or Elmo? No, I am not talking about Tickle Me Elmo. Just plain old Elmo.

You might be asking, "How can this idiot even compare the two? Sure they are both Sesame Street characters, but there is no way anyone would choose to be Elmo." Sure Elmo has that annoying little voice and laughs whenever someone touches him, but he has some good qualities. I don't know what they are, but I'm sure he has at least one. What really bother me about Elmo is the fact I have no idea if he is 5 years old or a creepy thirty year old. You know what they say about Sesame Street characters, "They sure age well."

So the obvious choice is Kermit right? Wrong my friend. Please hear me out. Kermit has been dating Miss Piggy for years and she treats him like trash. She is always yelling at him no matter what. I don't think she is ever grateful for all this little frog has done for her.

Unfortunately, Kermit lacks the self esteem to kick that pig to the curb. Also he has suffered years of emotional abuse at her hooves. I cannot live with his lack of self esteem. I'm sorry Kermit. I know you might provide me with job security, but I can't handle listening to that Prima Donna pig yelling at me the rest of my life.

My Point: Big Bird was living the dream.